S.O.S.

I can't walk another step without telling the world a story. My lungs are filled with too much air. My heart is raging with too much blood. My head is filled with too many thoughts, too many visions, too many scenarios that never were. My eyes can't keep filling up with tears if I refuse to let them spill over the edge. I read too many people's thoughts, I feel too many people's heartaches. I can no longer see into the future or revel in the past.

I want to scream into a pillow for hours. I want to cry until I fall asleep. I want to climb a mountain and yell so loud that no one can hear me. I want to write a novel so compelling that it could turn a sinner into a saint. I want to love so deeply that I cannot breathe again. I want to feel all these things building up inside me, choking me to death.

But they stay inside, they torture me, so I exist in a constant state of sensory overload. That is why I'm here, so you can share this with me.

The In-Between

What is it that you want?

What is it that keeps you alive?

What is it that you care about the most?

What is it that keeps you awake at night?

What is it that gives you hope?

What is it that consumes your dreams?

What is it that keeps you sane?

What is it that drives you crazy?

It's the little things. 

The things that escape too quickly. 

And if I had all the answers, I'd be dead by now.

Diary of A Waitress

bankers and lawyers

entrepreneurs and men in finance

all they see is green

green green green

with credit cards

heavier than my breakfast

and weekly bank statements

greater than my yearly wages

all they do is consume

and talk about money 

more money

more more more

i think they live in a different dimension 

in a different world

they see me as as a servant

and not a person 

but that's okay

these men pay my bills

and new york city

has them by the balls

while i am as free as a songbird

Never Again

My restless spine lies on words never spoken
Time wasted with broken clocks
Time that we never had to begin with
Tomorrow comes too quickly
Yesterday seems a lifetime away
Waiting hopelessly
For some break in the clouds
Some whisper in the wind
To tell us we're stumbling in the right direction
Always on the verge of hitting the edge
Where ever that may lie
My identity swept away from beneath me
So I'm lost and now I have everything to learn
Trying to catch up from an eternity of mistakes
Of treachery and deceit so paralyzing
That it is difficult to move again
So tear away these layers of mistrust and doubt
Until I'm stripped down bare
Free of pre-conceived notions and biased opinions
So I can embrace the world around me
And breathe the air that was meant to keep me alive

About A Girl

She held onto each word she spoke about a second later than most people did. As if you weren't captivated enough by her looks alone, she drew you in without contemplation as to why or how. She gracefully walked down the street at a flowing steady pace, passing you by effortlessly with an eighty-five percent success rate of double takes. Her chocolate brown hair cascaded down her thin back, that you caught yourself wishing you were at the other side of, simply to memorize the bone structure of her youthful and symmetrical face. She made you feel incompetent yet wanted. Beautiful yet plain. At the top of the world yet second place. She was a girl who, on the darkest of days, helped you enjoy the faintest of light...striving for anything that was slightly unattainable. She made you want to expand your vocabulary, give the last of your cash to a beggar, give a lost soul directions to the nearest bar. You could never justify your actions with reason, just on a whim of intuition. You see her every day...reading on the subway, walking past a window, exiting the elevator while you're walking in. You always wonder what your day would have been like had you done these things mere seconds before or after you actually did. As if it was some sort of fate, this stranger crossing your path, inspiring you to do more than you could have ever done consuming the city's best coffee after a full night of sleep. If only you could have prepared yourself for these almost encounters, slipping from your fingertips and all of a sudden becoming lifetimes away.