life meets horizon

and i wanted to breath once more
to see the sky turn from pink to black
i wanted to see somebody(anybody) smile
i wanted to feel the wind sweep against my face
i wanted to walk along an edge again
just to remember what it's like
to be afraid yet invigorated
i wanted to run until my heart pounded
too heavy for my chest to endure
i wanted to scream in blinding pain
just so i could heal once more
i wanted to feel his lips against mine
even if it was not a kiss
just that sharp twist of my heart
i wanted to cry until my eyes shut
until i felt comforted by my own solitude
the city lights and the fading shouts
that sang me to sleep each night
i wanted to bump into every shoulder
on ever street and every corner
i wanted to hear just one more song
it might be played out but it made me whole
i wanted to scribble just one more sentence
because i never wrote nearly enough
i wanted to feel somebody's warm skin
against my youthful aching body
i wanted just one more anything
but i took most everything for granted
and as it slipped away from beneath me
i finally realized that second chances don't exist.

xx

our love becomes our fear
while this fear forms into hate
so we begin to hate ourselves
and this burning from inside
our perfectly framed safe lives
begin to capsize into tragedy
no telling what is up from down
feeling high as much as low
so we ask again and again
over and over until we choke
on the words left unspoken
when it all comes down
to a single moment spared
i think we would all die
wishing we had only cared
just a little bit more

the things i never knew

i can't imagine a time before i knew your name

lifetimes hidden behind wandering eyes

curtains closing before you could reach

you taught me to avoid death with life

after the edge of our souls could breach

i lost count of minutes and days

months passed and i can still see them

moments gone and i can still feel them

how you manage to stay so sane

i will never know

the pain of the vulnerability

i swore never to show

we tore infinity apart

i never planned on making sense

of my weak and tangled heart

so i see you from a distance

and i wish you never knew

all these senseless things inside me

strangling me until i'm blue

but that's what we're all here for

what lovers are supposed to do

to destroy each other slowly

and piece it all back together

while wondering who was wrong

when we both whispered vaguely forever

Monday

this week we can be different

we can toss and turn and wake up new people

we don't have to drag our tired bodies to work

today our social upbringing is forgotten

today we can finally fucking breathe

burn dollar bills and set the sky on fire

we can perch atop our favorite buildings

the ones we usually stare at from the ground

we can watch the people we used to be

scurrying around from one meeting to the next

it's funny how some of them don't even stop

not even to look up at the clouds

not one single moment is spent living

i wonder if we forced them to see and to feel

that they could become human again

but you and i don't have to worry

anymore

it's monday, it's our weekend

you can be a lush and i can wake up early

to see the sun rise from the shattered earth

freedom is underrated

do you think anyone has noticed?

our cease of existence 

lost amongst a sea of dead souls

wandering from place to place

without destinations

searching so desperately it's pathetic

searching for material things

intangible things

successmoneyfamesexlove

they might find all of these things

but never find themselves

their dying hearts buried beneath layers and layers

of self hatred and monotony

so i think we should leave this place

and not so much as even glance back

frames

i lost track of time

drifting away on thoughts

never acted upon

intensions are excuses

flesh and blood race

as my thoughts disintegrate

i slowly catch fire

it is enough 

to simply be near you

little angel
you thought you could breathe
in this sky full of poison
you thought you could be
in this world against being
like a fly on a wall
you sit, waiting patiently
for things that will never come
and you tried with all your soul
your head heart and bones
until you fell apart
jagged pieces on the ground
scattered so beautifully
as if they were meant
to be stepped on
left behind for the world
to see and interpret
well little poet
you wrote your story
proved your point
but i'm still empty
waiting to hear your voice
dying to read your words
if only it were so easy.

Stumble

The faint reflection of the moon in your eyes made me do it

The feeling of your left hand on my lower back 

The way you make my leg quiver and my neck arch 

The look in your eyes when you really mean it

The way you pour brown liquor into an empty glass

The way your lips feel when you're hungry made me do it

The ability you have to make all of my fears disappear into thin air

The way you pull my entire body toward you with one arm

The stories you tell that compel me

                            (I may look away but I'm always listening)

The curiosity looming in your head when you look out a window

The truth in your voice when you're falling asleep made me do it

And now, I am afraid, there is no turning back.