The sky is beautiful...but don't go telling everyone

Time takes the clarity of things away, as memories slip through our fingertips. Just as I realize they're escaping, they're gone for good. The photographs start to fade, the words grow quiet, the vision becomes unclear. Is this what dying is? Forgetting the things we live for? I once loved so much, with such strength, that it was impossible to describe. It was fierce, passionate, breathtaking. It could have put out the fire of the sun, drained all the ocean from the earth, torn all the stars from the sky. But it doesn't exist anymore. Where does it all go? The love, the hate, the regret, the sorrow, the joy, the desire? Do we just add these feelings to our collection of failed causes? I once believed so whole-heartedly, truly, deeply, that my dreams were so vivid they were almost blinding. Now I struggle to see them. It's as though everything has come to some dull dead end. My heart doesn't jump, it doesn't flutter, it doesn't sink...sometimes I put my hand under my breast just to see if it's even beating. So what does it take to feel alive again? Is it a moment, a person, a feeling? It's similar to walking forever, lost, trying to find a way home. I feel like I've been walking and wandering for so long that I've forgotten where I was headed. I'm just trudging forward because my body tells me to. I need that surge of energy, that spike in my vein, that fire in my heart again. I'm almost numb to the bone. My surroundings have become a greyscale...no saturated colors, no black and white. Just a bleak and solemn overtone. I need to feel alive again, to feel excitement, joy, pain, something, anything. This nothing just won't do anymore.

Fare Thee Well

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as his lips gently pressed on her forehead. She knew this was the last moment she would feel safe for quite some time. Her emerald eyes started to burn, her throat started to tighten. But she fought it off...if there was one thing she was good at, it was swallowing her emotions and putting on a smile.
"Off you go, darlin'. You know I'm not keen on goodbyes."
She placed her hands on his cheeks, and then traced his collarbone, trying to take note of everything. His scent, his soft skin, his voice. Her heart was pounding and her legs were shaking like two teetering towers in the wind.
"See you soon", she whispered. But she knew it wasn't true.

It was one of those scenes in life like a movie...everything was saturated with the golden light of dusk, the air was warm and everything seemed to be playing in slow motion. With great risk comes great sacrifice. There are certain times in life that you can sense change, the earth is shattered and an entirely different layer is revealed. It's frightening, it's exciting, and it's fucking beautiful. Sometimes love just isn't enough.

mdh

Always young, always gold, you never fade away

Here to stay, to destroy the things that get in your way

I was never one to talk, never one to share

Stripped down bare and breathless, hungry and restless

Just the way you like it

But we're just kids we don't want to grow old

Never did what we were told but here we are now

Wondering what the hell this life is about

Lost as ever 

Lost inside forever

Trying not to look back so we look ahead

Staring into the eyes of the future instead

Well we could change the world if we wanted

Maybe we're just too scared

Too fucked up or unprepared

But you don't see yourself like I do

Your mirror not as keen as my eyes

No more drugs and no disguise

You're really something dear

No more fear and no excuses

Let's conquer this life before we lose it

XI

I ripped through every single page, through the preface and the epilogue. I searched through history books and websites. I listened to the songs, over and over again, until i knew all the words, all the twists and turns, all the secrets. I depicted the drawings on the wall, the faded photographs, the letters never sealed and never sent. I walked back and forth, to the edge of the earth, to the end of the road, to the corners of the sky. I asked every question, peered into every soul, borrowed every dream. All the memories, fears, and hopes became a part of me. I was pulled in every direction, torn between each path, spinning in circles and walking a tightrope. I experienced every rock bottom, every tip top, and everything in the middle, trying to find an answer. Then I realized it was buried deep inside of me, and no impatient digging, soul-searching, or magic lamp was going to reveal it. I saw that the answer was in all of these things, but I was too busy trying to find it to appreciate what they were trying to tell me. So I learned to be patient, I learned to breathe, and I learned to listen. It's not about finding something that is hidden, but discovering something that is right in front of you.

Lightly

No need to rush, better to wait
Real like those scars on your chest
Listen to fear, it's stronger than hate
You're all talk, just like the rest
While my Sunday's worst
Is your Sunday's best
I can walk away just like you
Just like I'm someone new
So it all comes down to what?
Running around in circles again
No start and no end
Just one big waste of time
Lost the need to pretend
Turned that water into wine
And drank till it was dry
But you're no better
You're much worse
Nothing but a disarming curse
Your charm contagiously adverse
So take it for all it's worth
One day you won't be so tough
One day it won't be enough