sunday

pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december
pale december

(take me in)

i have so fucking much to tell you.

i saw you yesterday, your eyes were full of everything

floating on your tongue
dancing on your lips
you
so heavy
like an anchor that slips
moving slowly always
slowly

forgetting all the time
crippling black and white
me
so empty
like the vast silent night
moving quickly always
quickly

tangled up in truth
pretty black and blue
her
so tender
like someone you once knew
moving slowly oh so
slowly

drifting on a whim
running from within
him
so cunning
like a virgin with a grin
moving quickly much too
quickly

...

you walk down the street
with a loaded gun
fading like a madman
in the winter sun

everybody loves a good bruise

in my solitude i remember what it was like to feel your breath on my chest. i remember what it was like to be shaken up inside by the sound of your voice. you always said things that made my heart sink and my head blind. my hands would disappear when you wrapped yours around me, you always made me feel small and safe. i would run my fingertips up and down your neck and hum a song inside my head. if i listen closely i can still hear it, even now, when you aren't around. december is long and the lights don't shine as bright without you. i feel as bare as the skeletal winter trees scraping the gray sky. i still remember the day you walked away, it hangs like a photograph in the hollows of my soul. i can taste the last kiss, i still feel your warm tears on my cheek. i knew right then that i would become someone different, like a veteran after a war. i feel lighter and heavier at the same time, like i'm missing something but weighed down by the memory.

i could live a thousand lives and still never forget you.