control.

everything is an illusion so you say. i seem coherent but i'm fading away. i've always believed that one day it would be worth the trouble. one day it would all piece together. you say forever like it has meaning behind it. cross your heart but you can't even find it. at the bottom of a bottle the pain starts to subside. it's so easy to hide behind all of our addictions. in this fictional world it's hard to find something real. if i'm always numb then i'll never have to feel. i can never be broken. never again. counting backwards from ten to fall asleep. this surreal world is something i wish i could keep. reality is deceiving and twisted. looking for an escape but i always miss it. i try to find truth but it's non existant. you can hold me close but i will always be distant. my feet are on the ground but my head is in the clouds. i wish there was an in between. listen closely and you can hear the sound of a broken dream. feelings buried so deep that i don't know they are there. forgive this life and forget despair. it all vanishes so perfectly into thin air. i can disappear without a care.