driving down and endless road trying to find the sun
everything you think is gone has only just begun
i put a message in a bottle and threw it into the sea
inside i put my heart and soul for someone else to read
perhaps one day they'll find it and give it back to me
i dropped a penny into a well and made a wish i'll never tell
then i started wondering and thinking to myself
why a coin so meaningless is the token of hopeful dream
is anything in this world is ever what it seems?
i went out into the city and walked along the street
studied all the people i see each day but never meet
everyone going out of their way never to brush against each other
is it such a terrible thing for one person to notice another?
taxis are screaming always rushing to their destination
every set of eyes i meet seem to cry out in desparation
i watched a man buy a ticket hoping to win the lottery
thinking all the money in the world might just make him happy
i looked at him and smiled but he just walked right past me
i heard children playing and i turned my head to see
i wanted to be that young again so innocent and free
to know so little that all they do is make believe
a couple walked by me their hands were intertwined
the kind of love we read in novels and always hope to find
so fixated on each other that it was as if no one else existed
i prayed i never had a chance at love like that and missed it
all these people somehow taught me things about myself
i almost wanted to reach out and thank them for their help
but i put out my cigarette and turned to walk away
i went home to escape into dreams of better days

Music isn't noise

Music is emotion, feelings. Not written with a pen, but with the mind and the soul. All the things we'll understand but never know, the people we wish we were, the places we'll never go. It is the love we'll always hold on to but never let show. It is our darkest dreams, our deepest fears, our loudest screams, our heaviest tears. Our highest hopes, our bluest skies, our brightest stars, our darkest nights. How we know the world is ours when everything else is out of sight. Music is all the things we felt but could never say. The things that were forgotten, the things taken away. It is the times we were so unprepared, the times we pretended not to care. It is all the things we have done right, and everything we have done wrong, all tangled up and compiled into song. It is the times our hearts have broken, all the words that were never spoken. All the memories we pushed aside, all the feelings we couldn't hide, and all the love we tried to disguise. All the times we were afraid, the enemies and friendships made. It is the things we won't forget, the mistakes that we regret. Everything that we look back on, and the things that lie ahead. The times we wanted to yell but kept quiet instead. It is the letters we wrote but couldn't send, the pain that we could never mend, the things we said but never meant. Music is what makes our blood flow and our hearts beat, it makes our souls touch when our eyes meet. It is the things that never were, and the things that will never be. It is what holds us together, but will always set us free...

buncha bullshit

when i saw you it was your eyes that pulled me in
filled with emotion i wanted to know
i had to turn around for a second look
now i sit here all alone trying to let you go
i know you're leaving but i would wait for you again
i lied when i said my heart still aches
it simply stopped beating
i look back on all these mistakes
and wonder why they keep repeating
all those words i couldn't speak
i don't think i ever told you this
but when i hear your voice my knees get weak
i wish i could tell you how i feel
that for the first time in a while
i thought something could be real
that each night i go to bed
i wish you could be laying there
so you could kiss me as i fall asleep
and run your fingers through my hair
that i think about you all the time
and you don't even know it
that deep down i wanted you to be mine
but had too much pride to show it
that sometimes i stay awake at night
hoping that you'll call
and it was the little things you did
that made me start to fall
that i wanted to know you better
i wanted to see you more
and i wish you felt the same
so i could say i had something worth waiting for

late nights turn into early mornings
behind each smile lies a story
there's shattered dreams and broken trust
secret love and hidden lust
each look must have a meaning
never sleeping always dreaming
we are always trying to forget the past
so tip your hat or raise your glass
to promises and fate
to life's irony you love to hate
always trying to leave and escape
but never knowing why
those drunken words were just a lie
but they painted such a pretty future
if you'd do anything not to lose her
then maybe it's best to show it
you're missing out and you don't even know it
but we all just laugh it off tonight
as these drinks make the future fade from sight
if it never came i think it'd be alright
so we stay awake into the morning light
and wish time didn't exist at all
if we don't fall asleep
we don't have to wake up
to those pretty things we'll never keep

i listened to my heart sink
it wasn't a great sound
why is it that when i start to think
my world turns upside down
there's something about it
that makes me weak in the knee
i don't know how to feel anything
if i could just open my eyes to see
it's not like me it's just a lie
what once was will never stay to be
when i count on that star-infested sky
it's okay for hope to go astray
try to find a better day
hope flies off on it's own and then
we all make excuses that we say
"love" slips off our tongue
too frequent and much too soon
just like the solemn faces
that stand examining the moon
as if we could retrace it
and go back to the truth
is it so much to ask for
when i hear it from afar
just sittin waiting honestly
on that hopeful shooting star
we are all much too blind to see
this world even start to fall apart

he wears his facade with elegance

so scared of something real

it's safe to say he's confident

when everything's concealed

i saw straight through to something better

someone deeper

someone true

all these things i thought i knew

until i stopped and realized

that i was a fool too

he made me smile on the inside

i tried to hide it but it showed

i was never one to care

but something told me otherwise

i've always been better off alone

but there was a story hidden behind those eyes

that i suppose i'll never know

and now after all this time i realize

that it's time to let the feelings go

i followed the river on out to the sea
sat in silence and wondered
if what was always will be
i put a message in a bottle
just to see if it would return to me
i don't mind the being alone
i get lost on purpose just to feel at home
but when the truth begins to surface
i want to feel something i've never known
i always imagined love to be like a symphony
it can make you feel without a word being said
and just like that it won't escape your head
but im afraid i'll never know
i don't let anyone get close
and if they do i go
leave without an explanation
disappear with no reason why
so how can love exceed my expectations
if i don't even give it a try

the wind gently blows through the frozen trees
it's comforting as it puts the world at ease
my thoughts and fears they drift away
i can finally close my eyes and breathe
i wish the all days went by like this
where you could take in every moment
but they pass you in an instant
gone before you know it

be careful that breath you take
it might not last you long
be careful with that heart you break
it might just do you wrong
be careful with that move you make
you might not be so strong

my mind is awake it never falls asleep
the world spins too fast for us to weep
my memories all fall away
they were too prescious for me to keep
i wish they could just stay with me
so i could always play them in my head
but they are gone today
so i'll just dream instead

be careful with that breath you take
it might give up on you
be careful with that heart you break
it might destroy you too
be careful with that move you make
life might get the best of you

all I dream of is the unknown. tired of being surrounded by people but feeling alone. of being embraced but not feeling at home. i see a thousand smiles but eyes full of sorrow. always looking at yesterday and never tomorrow. i see so many people but can't tell if they're real. i live and i breath but i can't seem to feel. i hear so many songs without meaning. there's too many hearts that aren't even beating. stories are told without truth. people my age are losing their youth. the sky is full of stars but no one looks above. so many couples but no one in love. why can't we all just slow down to see the beauty that lies in simplicity? it's not about looking back but looking ahead. not following a path but being misled. not about the time taken but how it was spent. not who you kissed but what it meant. and that perfection won't exist and wouldnt be as exciting as the imperfect things we are always hiding.

oh how i long for the days that never made any sense
they all blur together with such unnoticed magnificence
the days where nothing mattered
where time stood still
and reality shattered
do things as good as that really last?
im looking into the future by my heart longs for the past
how does it happen how does it show
i smile today but tomorrow i never know
i'm so happy here
but i feel like there's always more
i'm never satisfed because of what i think the future could have in store

time

it's summertime again but the winter will come much too soon. I wonder where all the days went as the minutes seem to go slowly by. We don't exactly cherish the time spent together as much as much as we might try. I hold my memories tight and I'll keep them close to me for as long as they'll last. The months go by and things I looked forward to now lie in the past. The sun sets again as we all take advantage of the time we have together. Some friends I once swore to surround myself with forever seem to be slipping further away. More than ever I find myself looking back and wishing for those golden days. The nights of liquor and love and lust and sin are all a little hazy. The times we all let go and drank ourselves crazy. Rememberance brings back those feelings we all tried so hard to push aside. It puts that smile on my face that's impossible to hide. What is it about these nights that bring us all so close? I love what ever it may be it makes me want to stay young forever. It's time that binds us all so close together, so here's a toast, let's all surrender. To those lovely nights filled with things we can't remember.

funny how all that matters can turn into nothing
before you blink an eye
how can you tell what's important in life
if what used to make you smile
makes you want to cry
it all made sense at one point in time
you didn't even notice the days going by
then all of a sudden it takes you by surprise
all that lives is born to die
just one look into those eyes
and i knew
it was much too good to be true
all those fairty tales got the best of me
i guess i have only myself to blame
you can give what you wish to test me
but i'm still here i'm still the same
you can pretend all you want
i can see straight through
all those times i thought i knew
i didn't see it at all
you thought it would be interesting
to see me fall
but truth is im still up high
wondering why i'm wondering why
but
i realize that nothing really matters
why waste time when it all just shatters
it's a hope that lies so far away
i'd always wished for a better day
but those feelings have run dry
why waste time to try and try
when i can just walk the other way
i'm sorry to say that i've been led astray
simply because you didn't try to make me stay

nonsense?

as the cold winter hangs its head
maybe i can bring myself to look
at what is right in front of me instead
tell me, if i cry does that mean i am real?
it's your heart that i want to steal
if i put it in my chest will it beat any stronger?
i want to stay in this fucked up world a little longer
just to see if it turns out alright
there's got to be some hope
even in the dead of night
if i close my eyes maybe it will all go away
i know there's a million things i could say
to make things better but it all gets worse
everything i touch is cursed
but i swear i swear i didn't mean it
did i lie well enough for you to believe it?
i know i made a promise but i couldn't keep it
i'm sorry for all the trouble and the harm
but you did almost kill me with that charm
perhaps you're just as much to blame
i'd look you in the eyes but you're not the same
then again who is now a days?
i guess we all go our separate ways
but we will always have the past
people always say "never look back"
but i think it's the only way we can make each other last

freedom

i need a vacation. i need sunshine, warm water, and surf. for the love of god im going crazy here.

why oh why

can't dreams just come true

future

tell me little girl, oh where did you go?
too lost to find the sea, too busy to hear the wind blow
i don't know when you left, don't know how long you'll be gone
but i know i will miss you as this life goes on and on
have you found your prince charming, did he take you away?
i remember how you talked about it, you would always say,
"someday i'll find the patience, to wait for a better day"
you were always dreaming, always somewhere secret
did you grab that shooting star and find somewhere to keep it?
i haven't heard from you, sometimes i stay up and worry
you left with no farewell, and you were in such a hurry
you might be on your own, you never needed anyone
you preferred being alone, always in search of the sun
i wish i could talk to you, to make sure all is well
i'm sure you have so many secrets you are dying to tell
i hope you found a meaning, and kept that innocence
did you finally see the world and how it all makes sense?
i hope you did it all, everything and more
you said you wouldn't settle or give up like before
i just hope you found what it was you were searching for...

what we are left with here
again and again
is hope for a better day
with all these sleepless nights
that's the best that i can say
and if hope decides to leave me
i'll hold on to the memories
and pray that time will not deceive me
some days i look at my reflection
and i don't know who stares back at me
the farthest from acclaimed perfection
im looking at my worst enemy
i've grown apart i've gone away
more than i can count today
but the promise of a new tomorrow
is what gets me out of bed
i'll replay the words that were said
to keep me from the sorrow
"it's not brave if you're not scared"
these secrets lie beneath the surface
so genuine and unprepared
waiting to be found so i
can finally believe you cared

the sun is shining so bright it's hard to see
the streets are full of people but somehow they're still empty
so teach me how to listen when all the noise turns into silence
how do you expect me to find peace in a world that's full of voilence
how can i look into your eyes if you don't even see me
how can i tell the truth if you won't even believe me
they say love is what makes you alive again
that love is what makes you real
but how am i to love if i don't even know how to feel

realization

the best is yet to come

stuff and things

you ask what it is that i am running from. i can't tell you because i don't quite know. the best you can do is just let me go. i am not like the rest, you see. i keep my heart hidden deep inside of me. so no one can get in. i promised myself that i would never let it break again, but i feel it happening every day. just seeing the world we're living in. if only i could rid the world of all that is untrue. and save the things that are pure. but i just can't tell them apart anymore. call me a fool but i just can't decide which side to fight for. so if you ask me what i'm running from, would you believe me if i said everything? i'm in search of something, anything. as long as it has passion and meaning. a road to happiness, to love. or a golden stairway to the stars above. take me away, take me to innocence. i forgot what it feels like to make sense. i want to smile without a care. and not know that this world is so unfair.

contemplation

city lights are blinding but here everything is the same. is it really possible to escape that? i need to be out of my comfort zone. but soon enough all that is new to me will become routine and it will blend together again. the new faces i see become familiar and then it all repeats itself. maybe it would be better if i were a new person each day. then everything would be fresh and exciting each morning i opened my eyes. i don't know what it is that i feel the need to run from. or what it is that i am running to. i just need to get away. find myself. do they have books on how to do that? probably not. i want more, and of what i do not know. more life, more knowledge. i see biographies about interesting people. i hope if someone were to write about me that it wouldn't be boring. act now, there might not be a tomorrow. live while you can, don't put things off. next week, next month, "in a minute", might not come.