The Inconveniences

I missed my train that morning. I arrived to work 30 minutes late instead of 20. I went over all of the little things in my head that I could have done to be on time. If I had chosen my ensemble the night before, if I had just walked a little faster instead of people watching, if I had simply answered all of my emails at work instead of before. I was sent home for good, and I could not have cared less. I walked to my Brooklyn apartment, dragging my feet, my eyes fixated on each pile of shit and scum I would pass by on the streets. It smelled horrendous, like the entire earth spat up something that had been decaying for years. I came upon a park bench, it was gold in the late August sunlight. I looked out towards the city, and I noticed that the sky was on fire. Streaks of pink and purple and orange, streams of whisped clouds fading and then brightening again. A cool breeze trickled through the trees and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath until my lungs were completely full of air. As I released I noticed that everything around me was telling me something, a story that could only be heard and seen at that exact moment. I decided from then on to venture out into the world more often, this beautiful fucked up world that I had been avoiding all day just because I could have been paid to sit and stare at a computer screen for 8 miserable hours. I will no longer live for things that kill me.