You Don't Know What Blue Is

he was laying on a blanket

in a room full of

scattered records

empty bottles

and

empty souls

he stared at the ceiling

his eyes were full

of complex thoughts

no windows

just walls

his fingernails 

scraped guitar strings

old and rusted

playing sounds that seemed

from an older time

a better time

everything was slightly

out of tune

i liked it that way

those creaking sounds

turned into something

beautiful

if i heard it years from now

i'd still remember

the candle burned

flickered

it made me comfortable

as i slid beside him

i looked at the ceiling

trying to 

find

what is was that he saw

but i think it was 

somewhere deep inside

hidden

it hurt me to listen 

to those words

to the humming

the tapping of his foot

against the wood floor

it brought tears to my eyes

the fire was

burning

blue and red and orange

it was warm

but i felt cold 

the winter waited outside

screaming

damning us 

to well whiskey

alone with our thoughts

sometimes

they're too much to bear

but all that 

pain

it was real

i felt alive

and on that 

cold december night

i fell

in love with a feeling.