nonsense?

as the cold winter hangs its head
maybe i can bring myself to look
at what is right in front of me instead
tell me, if i cry does that mean i am real?
it's your heart that i want to steal
if i put it in my chest will it beat any stronger?
i want to stay in this fucked up world a little longer
just to see if it turns out alright
there's got to be some hope
even in the dead of night
if i close my eyes maybe it will all go away
i know there's a million things i could say
to make things better but it all gets worse
everything i touch is cursed
but i swear i swear i didn't mean it
did i lie well enough for you to believe it?
i know i made a promise but i couldn't keep it
i'm sorry for all the trouble and the harm
but you did almost kill me with that charm
perhaps you're just as much to blame
i'd look you in the eyes but you're not the same
then again who is now a days?
i guess we all go our separate ways
but we will always have the past
people always say "never look back"
but i think it's the only way we can make each other last

freedom

i need a vacation. i need sunshine, warm water, and surf. for the love of god im going crazy here.

why oh why

can't dreams just come true

future

tell me little girl, oh where did you go?
too lost to find the sea, too busy to hear the wind blow
i don't know when you left, don't know how long you'll be gone
but i know i will miss you as this life goes on and on
have you found your prince charming, did he take you away?
i remember how you talked about it, you would always say,
"someday i'll find the patience, to wait for a better day"
you were always dreaming, always somewhere secret
did you grab that shooting star and find somewhere to keep it?
i haven't heard from you, sometimes i stay up and worry
you left with no farewell, and you were in such a hurry
you might be on your own, you never needed anyone
you preferred being alone, always in search of the sun
i wish i could talk to you, to make sure all is well
i'm sure you have so many secrets you are dying to tell
i hope you found a meaning, and kept that innocence
did you finally see the world and how it all makes sense?
i hope you did it all, everything and more
you said you wouldn't settle or give up like before
i just hope you found what it was you were searching for...

what we are left with here
again and again
is hope for a better day
with all these sleepless nights
that's the best that i can say
and if hope decides to leave me
i'll hold on to the memories
and pray that time will not deceive me
some days i look at my reflection
and i don't know who stares back at me
the farthest from acclaimed perfection
im looking at my worst enemy
i've grown apart i've gone away
more than i can count today
but the promise of a new tomorrow
is what gets me out of bed
i'll replay the words that were said
to keep me from the sorrow
"it's not brave if you're not scared"
these secrets lie beneath the surface
so genuine and unprepared
waiting to be found so i
can finally believe you cared

the sun is shining so bright it's hard to see
the streets are full of people but somehow they're still empty
so teach me how to listen when all the noise turns into silence
how do you expect me to find peace in a world that's full of voilence
how can i look into your eyes if you don't even see me
how can i tell the truth if you won't even believe me
they say love is what makes you alive again
that love is what makes you real
but how am i to love if i don't even know how to feel

realization

the best is yet to come

stuff and things

you ask what it is that i am running from. i can't tell you because i don't quite know. the best you can do is just let me go. i am not like the rest, you see. i keep my heart hidden deep inside of me. so no one can get in. i promised myself that i would never let it break again, but i feel it happening every day. just seeing the world we're living in. if only i could rid the world of all that is untrue. and save the things that are pure. but i just can't tell them apart anymore. call me a fool but i just can't decide which side to fight for. so if you ask me what i'm running from, would you believe me if i said everything? i'm in search of something, anything. as long as it has passion and meaning. a road to happiness, to love. or a golden stairway to the stars above. take me away, take me to innocence. i forgot what it feels like to make sense. i want to smile without a care. and not know that this world is so unfair.

contemplation

city lights are blinding but here everything is the same. is it really possible to escape that? i need to be out of my comfort zone. but soon enough all that is new to me will become routine and it will blend together again. the new faces i see become familiar and then it all repeats itself. maybe it would be better if i were a new person each day. then everything would be fresh and exciting each morning i opened my eyes. i don't know what it is that i feel the need to run from. or what it is that i am running to. i just need to get away. find myself. do they have books on how to do that? probably not. i want more, and of what i do not know. more life, more knowledge. i see biographies about interesting people. i hope if someone were to write about me that it wouldn't be boring. act now, there might not be a tomorrow. live while you can, don't put things off. next week, next month, "in a minute", might not come.